{A letter to my girls} To New Beginnings

December 17, 2018
  • Public Memory

Dear Girls-

When I became a mother, my entire world changed. My world has revolved around each of you, and that is exactly how I’ve always wanted it to be.  Motherhood is hands down the greatest, most life changing, most rewarding part of my life.  I wake up each morning and immediately think about how I can enrich your day or make you smile.  I’ve had many nights where I questioned my choices, cried when I thought I had failed you.  

When I decided to pull you from the public school system in 2018, I was scared, but hopeful that this journey would be life changing.  I learned so much about who each of you were, the things that made you who you are.  I learned about all the things you loved (and hated) and your strengths and weaknesses.  I got to spend each and every morning with you and we spent all of our days growing and learning from one another.  

You both started making comments about missing old friends and missing dances at school and recess with your besties.  I started watching your attitudes shift into sadness and I knew that, despite how my heart felt about this time we were having together, that you deserved a childhood filled with moments and friendships that would last a lifetime.  I wanted to guard you from the world but I learned that sometimes, you need to learn how to pick yourself up when you get knocked down.  I wanted you to know how to deal with confrontation and people who didnt have the best intentions.  I wanted you to learn how to navigate this social world so that when you went out on your own, you could handle everything that came your way.

It wasnt an easy decision.  If I am being honest, I cried my way home after I signed you back up to public schools.  I hope I made the right decision.  I hope that what we have experienced over the last year has been memorable.  I hope that you always know I did the best I could, that I always had your best interests at heart.  That I treated you like individual human beings and not just kids.  That I valued your opinions, wants and needs regardless of your age.  

I want you to know that there are choices in life, always.  That you can speak up and follow your heart.  That you always take care of you.  That your mind and spirit are equally as important as taking care of your body.  That when in life something doesnt feel right or fill your life with joy, including a future job or career, that you have the choice ALWAYS to find one that does.  This isn’t our practice life (as Aunt Stacey likes to say).  There’s no use spending each and every day waking up doing something you dont want to do or spending life with those who dont fill your soul.  

So when you came to me and said you wanted to go back to public school, I listened.  

Here’s to 2019 and to new beginnings.




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